• Scabs

    January 23, 2017 - 4 minute read

    scab (noun): a dry, rough protective crust that forms over a cut or wound during healing

    scab (noun): a person or thing regarded with dislike and disgust

    I remember once falling to the ground as a kid while running. The impact of my knee on the ground combined with the frictional skid caused the surface layer of my skin to be scraped off.

    A shock of pain came forth as fresh blood seeped from the area of impact. I didn’t much care for that sensation of pain.

    With time, the blood clotted and metamorphosed into a drier and rougher form. I learned this to be called a scab.

    The formation of that new physical material coincided with a reduction of pain in that area. I was relieved to feel that uncomfortable sensation depart.

    But my relief was short lived, as a new sensation arose through the departing pain which may be described as uncomfortable and itchy. I didn’t much care for that itchy, uncomfortable sensation.

    I remember once disliking it so much that I took steps to eradicate its existence by scratching the scab.

    My scratch dismissed the itch.

    I discovered a sense of power by successfully exacting an outcome through my intention and corresponding action.

    I also experienced relief and satisfaction, for as the itchy sensation departed, so departed the negative association I had formed in relationship to the itch.

    However, while I was successful in eradicating the itch, the discomfort remained, as the sensation of pain returned with fresh blood tagging along.

    My return to that initial state of discomfort taught me that my decision to scratch, while satisfying in some ways, ultimately prolonged the unfavored state of discomfort.

    The return of fresh blood taught me that as annoying and uncomfortable as the scab was, it was apparently also a part of the healing process.

    After some time, the blood once again clotted and formed a new scab, with the familiar yet still uncomfortable itchiness tagging along.

    With this recurrence, I discovered myself in a loop. Except something new arose that time around, which was knowledge as to the purpose of the scab. A new relationship between me and the scab formed as I understood how the scab was there to facilitate healing, and not just annoy me through itchiness.

    So, I learned to tolerate the scab. I refrained from scratching, despite being plagued by the uncomfortable itchy sensation. I did this because my desire for healing and thus an exit from the loop bested the other options.

    Sometimes I would no longer be able to tolerate the itchy sensation and I would once again scratch off the scab. Sometimes this even happened without conscious effort as my unprocessed reaction to the sensation would heighten to proportions too large for me to control.

    Despite these small battles between me and the scab, the healing process continued undeterred. Over time, my cooperation with the healing process facilitated the reduction in size of the scab, with it being replaced by fresh skin.

    Ultimately, the scab completely disappeared, along with the blood, pain, discomfort, and itchiness.

    What was left was new skin that wasn’t just similar to the skin that was there before I scraped my knee, but skin that seemed more resilient than ever.

    I learned a few things from this experience.

    1. That which causes discomfort may ultimately exist to serve me and my best interests.

    2. Sensations arise and depart. Differing sensations may occur simultaneously, or one sensation may be replaced by another.

    3. Perspective is required to know what sensations mean in the greater scheme of things. Sometimes time and perspective go hand in hand.

    4. My reaction to a sensation or experience may overshadow the inherit lesson and greater message therein, if acted out.

    5. Taking measure to stop a particularly uncomfortable sensation may offer immediate gratification but may also ultimately prolong the discomfort.

    6. My ability to withstand the tension of opposites by being aware of the discomfort, but not acting out destructively to eradicate it, provides the exit to an otherwise endless loop.

    7. Any failure of mine to withstand the tension of opposites and corresponding succumbence to the battle is forgiven. The healing process continues unabated, regardless of my relationship with the symptom.

    8. I may not, and probably don’t, know the whole story whenever I’m witnessing and/or taking part in something.

    Today, I see many people in the world upset at the recent political events in the United States. As I observe this, I can’t help but think about scabs.

    My goal is to embrace the tension of this current political climate, and use the lessons learned from my experiences with skin scabs to better relate to scabs that exist outside of myself.

  • Difference

    January 21, 2017 - 1 minute read

    Regardless of our differences, we are still in this together, whether we like it or not. Know the falsehood of believing that me and you, one and two, have absolutely nothing at all in common. For as there must be a medium in between me and you, in that we share. That is, in this moment, we are, we think, we feel, we live. In this moment and of this moment we share, we are. The differences between us will never, ever, match the magnitude of the moment that we co-inhabit and co-create. So forever entangled are we in this thing, that we each have the freedom to disagree and even despise each other. So have what you’re having, and rest assured that regardless of what it is, it is also a part of the thing that everyone else is too a part of, which is the “one thing,” which is forever more. Can we all get along? Yes. Must we all get along? No. Aren’t we “all along” even if we don’t think or feel like we are along? Yup. We are that, and more, forever. In this, I rest.

  • I vote for greatness

    November 9, 2016 - 6 minute read

    TL;DR: As a participant in this thing called life, I’m partially responsible for all things, including politics. I think that I’m still a fledgling compared to what I’m capable of becoming. I think this is true for most everyone. I know that my conscious mind is but a small player in this game and that my unconscious is the true captain of this ship. So, I ask that you please hang in there with me as I explore all of my parts to embody the greatness that I am, and I’ll try my best to hang in there with you as you hopefully do the same. In this way, I will remain astonished and proud at what I am, and what we are, given our scant access to that which we are capable of. And I’ll rest knowing that the best is yet to come.

    LONG VERSION:

    Anyone that knows me likely recognizes where I stand in terms of politics. I think political priority number one is to first know the answer to this question: “Who has the power to create, issue, and circulate money?” At this point in time, the banks have this power. Thus, our government is in debt to the banks, placing it in the subservient role which ultimately allows the banks to use the government as a tool to control the people. The top down nature of this setup also requires the people to be in debt to the banks, for double measure.

    I think this structure is upside down. Until we fix it right side up, I expect endless political wedge issues to exist, which are mere symptoms of the greater concern.

    My political stance: People > Government > Banks. Let it be this.

    Presidential elections are perplexing to me, because I find myself presented with two people that don’t represent my values nor the ideals I hold for myself and the world. As if that weren’t enough, I then feel the pressure from society to pick one of these persons to represent me.

    I actually watched one of the debates, just so I could tap into the fervor of what my regional people were caught up in and perhaps even obsessed with. As I watched both candidates speak, I thought to myself, “What role have I played in creating a world where these two people are being presented to me as the best suitors to lead?” I didn’t have the answer, but I knew deep down that I was at least partially responsible on some level.

    At that point, I realized that my attention was very much outside of myself, being consumed auditorily and visually by the debate. I found myself in an endless loop. My logic board was overheating trying to process both the functional and dysfunctional parts of each candidate along with my own reaction of despair, worry, and hopelessness.

    When I became aware of how my attention was being consumed in this way, my attention instead began to go inside myself. I became aware of my hamstrings and how they were aching. A thought emerged, “I just found Donald and Hillary in my hamstrings!”

    So, I started to stretch them. As I did so, my attention kept going deeper inside. The debate played on, mostly as distant background noise. Every so often, I would look at the screen and my attention would return to the outside, but the images on the screen did not have as much “pull” on my state of being. It was as if I was looking at the depiction from a place within myself, instead of watching it from outside of myself.

    At that point, I realized that in my previous state of being, my lack of awareness for how “far out” I was with my attention was causing me to give power to an infinite loop of low trait behavior. From the newer and much more enjoyable state of being more balanced inside/outside, I became aware of my own power and embodiment thereof.

    As I continued to be with myself, I stretched the areas of my body that felt tight or achy. But, I was careful to not be too distracted by all of the sensation I was having, and instead sought out the parts of myself that didn’t have any sensation at all. The parts of myself that were so inflexible that my conscious mind wasn’t even aware of them, let alone able to determine how tight they were.

    This is the nature of accumulated dense fascia. It’s not wired to the brain in the same way muscles are. So while tenseness in muscles can very much be consciously felt, I know this tenseness is a symptom of the much greater concern that is accumulated dense fascia.

    Continuing in this way, I began to connect with parts of myself that I didn’t even know that I was disconnected from. As I kept working on those areas, they slowly started to “wake up,” transpiring from a feeling of “nothingness” to one of more sensation. This newfound sensation and feeling allowed my brain to comprehend how much more work was needed in that particular area compared to the parts of myself that I already knew were tense.

    This is what stretching is to me, bringing awareness to the parts of myself that I have been disconnected from. In this process, I begin to understand how these unfelt parts of myself have been really running the show, while the smaller conscious part of myself has in comparison been stuck in an endless loop, all the while thinking that it was really in control.

    The tremendous force in accumulated dense fascia and scar tissue is ceaselessly being exerted on the body. This force vastly exceeds the force in muscular strength, pulling bones out of alignment, and redirecting physical movements. Similar influence occurs on psychological, emotional, and spiritual levels. It does all of this without me even being aware of it or being able to sense it. What a trip!

    The more I stretched, the more I was able to get an internal sense of these mechanics, which then gave me new perspective on what was happening outside of myself. The candidates I saw on the screen, which for all intents and purposes appeared to be in control of themselves, I began to see were under the same influence of forces that I myself was under. Although, I was not confident that they had developed a practice to come to terms with these unseen and unfelt forces. It became no wonder to me that these two didn’t represent what I was envisioning for the world.

    I see myself and most people as being quite flexible in but a few ways while being quite inflexible in most other ways. I think that the tricky part of being flexible is that there is more than what meets the “eye.” I know that many people who appear flexible are not quite as much in that way as their appearance portrays. I’ve encountered this time and again in my professional life. For our greatest treasure shelters in that which we are unaware of, that which we are not yet conscious of.

    I think that we are mind-boggling creatures given what we are able to do with such meager embodiment of our greatest self. I don’t know the full extent of what we are capable of, but if I had to guess, I’d say it’s infinite. But, to put it into perspective, let’s just say we are accessing 5% of what we are capable of. If this is a close approximation of the truth, then I think we are doing quite well for ourselves. We still manage to continue existing despite the extreme lack of self knowledge which leads to endless miscommunication and conflict. Yet, here we are, day by day, continuing to exist somehow. The wonder of what we will be as we continue to progress in truly knowing ourselves fills me with awe.

    So, regardless of what happens politically, I will continue to work on myself and others, to bring out the best inside and outside.

    I vote for the greatness in me, the greatness in you, and the greatness of we.